Were you one of those elementary-school car enthusiasts who wondered things out loud like, “If bumpers are so good for crashes, why don’t we put them everywhere?” If you’re like me, you had an adult in your life who patiently explained how that would be a waste of taxpayer money, and that it wasn’t necessary because the bulk of drivers were reasonably safe, sensible people.
Fast forward to 2026, and we’re sticking pinball bumpers on the back of dump trucks to make sure people don’t crash into the scene of a crash that already happened. These things aren’t hypothetical. They exist, and, as our friends at Jalopnik pointed out, they’re being deployed in the real world. Have we mentioned lately that the future sucks?
It’s called the Scorpion II, and it’s manufactured by TrafFix Devices. So it’s a bumper you stick on the back of a truck. Big deal, right? Well, as a nice little bonus, these barriers are meet MASH (not that one) standards. This means they’re rated to perform as well as an equivalent fixed barrier. In other words, this is like having a full-blown median divider bolted to the back of your hauler.
TrafFix Scorpion II TMA – World’s First MASH Eligible TMA
“The Scorpion II TMA consists of strut and cartridge sections that are linked together on a support frame,” said TrafFix. “The curved side rails are made from corrosion resistant aluminum tubes, which offer full width impact protection along the entire length of the unit. The side rails were designed to redirect errant vehicles away from the rear of the truck (coffin corner). Other manufacturers Crash Attenuator models have little or no side-angle impact protection.”
“The aluminum boxes are filled with a moisture proof, aluminum honeycomb material,” TrafFix said.” The boxes, together with the curved side rails, absorb the energy from an impacting vehicle. The aluminum boxes are painted with a bright yellow powder-coated finish, for lasting durability.”
TrafFix says you’ll need at least a 15,000 pound truck to mount the Scorpion II. That heft guarantees as little movement as possible in the event of an impact. The trailers can be equipped with monitoring equipment and lit signage—just in case you want to give idiots something besides their phones to read in the moments before to impact. Stay safe out there, folks.
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